Mark Ellis - Stand up Comedian

Let’s start hot: I’m coming back home to do stand-up in Richmond, Virginia for the first time…it’s at the Funny Bone May 9-12, and I figured I’d get that out of the way before all the people that helped raise me read about what a ne’er-do-well I’ve become this weekend in Detroit.

Streaks were meant to be broken, and my record of 6 years without being at a strip club came to an end last night…I’m in Detroit, so I figured it was either look at naked chicks or get involved in a rap battle.  I actually was with some locals and rationalized that I would go to enjoy the great 80′s rock.  (Going to a strip club for the music is like opening Penthouse for the movie reviews) Needless to say, the evening ended this morning the way it should: intoxicated, broke, and with a Taco Bell Big Box.  Because success tastes like Cool Ranch Doritos.

Hitting the road hard five out of the next six weeks, heading to places like Denver, Virginia and Orlando…if you’re a stripper there then you’re out of luck.  I’m back to hibernating for another six years.  (You know, after this weekend…)

Between the Schmoes Know movie show and collecting Russian meteorite remains, life has been busy…and it gets busier.  Clear the runway and ready a barstool at the Terminal C Houlihan’s, because Ellis just added a veritable buttload of new stand-up dates (more deets in the calendar section.  Did I just write “deets”?  I need to stop hanging with 13 year-olds).  Some gigs are solo, some with John Caparulo, all sure to be memorable experiences after which you’ll conceive your children.  Try not to name them something pretentious, like “Cash” or “Magenta”.

FEB 28-MAR 3: ZANIES (Nashville, TN w/ Caparulo)

MAR 15-16: THE COMEDY STORE LA JOLLA (La Jolla, CA)

MAR 21-24: FUNNYBONE (Columbus, OH w/ Caparulo)

APRIL 5-7: SOUTH POINT CASINO (Las Vegas, NV)

APRIL 11-13: ROYAL OAK COMEDY CLUB (Detroit, MI w/ Caparulo)

APRIL 25-28: COMEDY WORKS DOWNTOWN (Denver, CO)

That’s right…the football gods have smiled upon me, and now the Redskins will be playing in Cleveland against the Browns the same weekend I’m competing for laughs at Hilarities comedy club.  Skins QB Robert Griffin III and me have a combined three healthy legs so we should be set to take that town by storm.

Is it fate that RGIII and I will be in the same town on the road at the same time?  As a Skins fan and a believer of fate (especially in rom-coms), I’d hope that this is the work of some cosmic force that will continue converging our paths until we stroll into the same Cheesecake Factory on Saturday (at which point I’ll either shyly run away or blurt out something totally inappropriate like “Can I touch your hair?”).  It’s probably just a coincidence anyhow, so I’ll go ahead and cancel that ProFlowers order to his hotel suite.

Excited about Cleveland though (no, seriously)…can’t wait to get to the rock ‘n’ roll Hall of Fame and drool over the Van Halen exhibit until a kindly security guard kicks me out for refusing to put my pants back on.  Hopefully RGIII will give me a ride back to my room?

Seeing “The Hobbit” tomorrow night, taping our new Machinima web series Movies with the Schmoes and then Cleveland Hilarites w/ John Caparulo all weekend…oh, and huge thanks to everyone who made my debut comedy album GET TO THE CASTLE such a big seller on iTunes and everywhere else.  Now I can afford to buy Redskins apparel from head to toe (that is, if my new best friend Robert can’t hook me up after the game…)

Movies with the Schmoes – Man of Steel, Playing for Keeps!!

Welcome one and all to the official website of THE Mark Ellis…yes, the comedian/entertainer and no, that won’t be the last time I refer to myself in the third person.

This will hereforth be the one-stop hub for all of my projects past present and future; feels like the right time to build an e-house because:

I can finally afford it.  AND…

My debut stand-up comedy album, “GET TO THE CASTLE”, will be released on November 13^th on Amazon, iTunes and every other platform imaginable.  Or you can go to the site of the nice fellas that produced it, RoofTop records.  In fact, if you type in “schmoes” in the coupon code section, you’ll get a 15% discount!  Which reminds me…

I have a thriving movie review show with my buddy/worthy adversary Kristian Harloff called “Schmoes Know”…we’re two dudes talking all things cinema, and thanks to our gigantastic fan base “Schmoeville” we’ve become one of the biggest shows on the interweb.  Look around my site for links to our vids, fan pages, Twitter and podcasts.  I also do “The Mad Cap Hour” podcast with John Caparulo, and “Three’s 2 Much” with Justine Marino and Josh Macuga.

Stand-up tour dates, vids, audio, pics, links and all that other good stuff will be all over the place, so thanks for stopping by, stay as long as you like and come back soon.  And the bathroom is for customers only.